I miss live music.
But not just.
I miss my band.
I miss my friends.
I miss my family.
I miss looking down at my concert ticket and feeling like I won the lottery.
I miss counting the days til show day.
I miss packing a ton of extra socks because you know you’re gonna need it for some reason.
I miss being on the road.
I miss feeling like I’m going on an adventure.
I miss boarding a plane with my head full of dreams.
I miss that feeling of fulfilment when you finally make it to the venue.
I miss running down the streets with not a care in the world just to hug another fan.
I miss saying hello twice to the same person because you’re so happy you can’t keep track.
I miss meeting old friends and making new ones.
I miss acting like a 13 year old fangirling about a boys band.
I miss the laughs ringing throughout the GA line.
I miss spotting a friend just because I heard his foreign accent.
I miss sitting on the floor and debating the state of the world between two Youtube vids.
I miss going from the mystery of the universe talks to the latest frontman haircut in less than a minute.
I miss emptying all the crap in my pockets to get my external battery out.
I miss the cheap ass rain ponchos we all buy even though we know it won’t last 5 minutes.
I miss elaborating a map of all surroundings free bathrooms.
I miss my belly grumbling because I can’t eat anything out of excitement.
I miss running up and down the GA line just to catch up with as many people as possible.
I miss hugging people I’m meeting for the first time but feel like I’ve known for ages.
I miss the moments of clarity wondering why the hell am I half asleep on the street for a band.
I miss the stories we share to pass time.
I miss giving advice to the next generation.
I miss the wisdom shared by the older generation.
I miss listening to stories of former tours with twinkling eyes.
I miss that person who holds your spot on the line just so you can hit the bathroom.
I miss bringing back a coffee just to say thank you.
I miss that there are no more differences, races, religions, or generation gaps during a few hours.
I miss that we’re all humans when we wait for a show.
I miss my hands covered in numbers crossed out.
I miss making silly signs and debating who has the best one.
I miss the excitement of waiting on the signing line even though it never works out for me.
I miss the sun going down because it means the doors will soon open.
I miss that last bathroom dash.
I miss that ecstatic moment when you’re finally let in.
I miss the guy yelling “NO RUNNING”.
I miss how we just half walk/half run anyway.
I miss when my hand finally hits the rail and all the exhaustion of the day falls on my shoulders.
I miss those couple of hours before the show when you’re so tired you just keep wondering how you’re gonna make it throughout the show.
I miss the excitement building up when the pre show playlist starts.
I miss how the PA blaring brings you back on your feet.
I miss that last half hour when everyone is restless and silly dancing and singing.
I miss the shouts of joy every time the tiniest thing happens on stage.
I miss wondering how the hell is such a stage built so fast.
I miss waving to those friend on the other side like stupid even though I saw them 10 minutes beforehand.
I miss the sticky floor from the spilled beer.
I miss having silly gutter talks about the band and the shame of realising there’s a crew member laughing his arse off just behind you.
I miss trying to get the crew attention for half an hour to get the setlist.
I miss trying to not crumple my ticket stub too badly in my pocket because I want to keep it as a souvenir.
I miss the atmosphere buzzing with excitement when it’s almost time.
I miss the electricity in the air before the band takes the stage
I miss when the lights go out.
I miss that feeling of being on the starting blocks for the race of your life.
I miss show time.
I miss the roar of the audience.
I miss the smile on my face when I see those shadows getting on stage.
I miss that first note of music that makes you forget about everything else.
I miss how the tiredness goes away.
I miss how nothing makes sense anymore.
I miss how all of a sudden you feel alive.
I miss how it all makes sense after all.
I miss the guitar shredding your troubles to pieces.
I miss when the drummer takes control of your heartbeat like a voodoo doll.
I miss feeling the bass vibrating in my bones.
I miss those tears the singer steals from you when hitting those high notes.
I miss the cries of joy when the chorus unleashes the song.
I miss the visuals taking me to another place.
I miss hearing a new song live.
I miss being dazzled by a band I’ve seen so many times.
I miss how they make me feel.
I miss clapping so hard that my hands hurt.
I miss singing along loudly to my fav songs.
I miss being breathless two songs in because I already bounced too hard.
I miss cheering as loud as I can and feeling my throat tearing apart.
I miss those songs that seem to reach your soul.
I miss the light that mends your broken heart.
I miss how you feel whole for just an instant.
I miss the faith it inspires.
I miss how empowered it makes you feel.
I miss the hope that we could be just that – humanity at its best.
I miss the sense of unity and community I can’t find anywhere else.
I miss the magic of a single piano key note.
I miss turning into a puddle of tears out of joy and sadness at the same time.
I miss the crowd bouncing as one just out of cheer joy.
I miss the ground shaking just because of us all.
I miss the peace that takes over you during the acoustic set.
I miss when everything seems to be in slow motion while you’re lost in the moment.
I miss hugging a stranger having a meltdown because a song hit too hard.
I miss the security guy who ask if you’re okay when you’re just trying to catch your breath.
I miss checking my pockets every few songs to make sure I didn’t lose anything while jumping.
I miss not knowing if I’m covered in someone else’s sweat or tears.
I miss holding onto the rail for fear of collapsing.
I miss the kind smiles of the crew because they just know.
I miss the adrenaline surge in my mind.
I miss the wonder of hearing all our voices uniting as one.
I miss those magical moments when you catch one of the band members’ eyes.
I miss the pride you feel when you can see on the band’s face that you’re doing a good job.
I miss that last song of the set that breaks your heart because it’s almost over.
I miss that moment when you don’t want to let go of the rail.
I miss waiting for people to leave the venue so I can take it all in for one more moment.
I miss looking around and realising how much it feels like home
I miss that grin we all share when the fresh air hits our faces.
I miss the tinnitus that follows because you lost your earplugs jumping up and down like a maniac.
I miss those few minutes after the show when we just look at each other in complete bewilderment not knowing what to do.
I miss the after shows chatter and the hilarious misunderstandings because your ears are still ringing like hell
I miss buying shirts three sizes too large because I didn’t go to the merch stand before the show and still want one.
I miss the post shows drinks when everything seems good in the world.
I miss having the best of times with my friends.
I miss the happiness that fills the room.
I miss the tipsy borderline jokes.
I miss that we just keep singing all through the night.
I miss that feeling it will never end.
I miss that it all slips so fast to memories.
I miss that damn post show hangover.
I miss the sore legs and extinct voice the day after.
I miss having my luggage filled with water bottles, crumpled papers and that pub coaster, just junk for most people but invaluable treasures to me.
I miss the way we say goodbye a thousand times because we know we won’t meet again for a few years.
I miss the hugs so tights it might break your ribs.
I miss how we all look back just one last time before parting.
I miss passing out from exhaustion on my way home with a smile on my face because it was the best day ever.
Every single time.
I miss it all and a thousand things more.
I miss my family.
I miss my friends.
I miss my band.
I miss those days.
But they’re not gone forever.
And when they will finally return.
We’ll jump higher.
We’ll sing louder.
We’ll hug tighter.
We’ll feel deeper.
Maybe, just maybe, we’ll do better.
And it will be the best day ever.
I miss live music. But not just.